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So what was the genesis of the League?
Most probably, the same as many ideas. A bunch of blokes standing around
a barby having drunk one to many beers. Many would lay claim to coming
up with the idea but I have to give it to one bloke who is a close
mate (lets call him Scummie to protect his identity) standing around
that barby about 10 years ago.
All guys being in their early thirties at the time were questioning their
receding hairlines. A few including myself were definitely in a state
of panic and wondering what action could be taken. The advertised hair
replacement clinics had been considered but never followed through
as the thought of something stitched onto my head made me recoil. Plenty
of blokes at work knew how it was worrying me and took ample opportunity
to give me stick with items such as pieces of lambswool with attached
strings, much like a surf life saver cap being presented at the staff
Christmas party. It was all taken in good humour but was none the less
worrying.
The banter continued about some of the remedies tried and suggested as
a few more beers were consumed. These included using a tar based
shampoo and rubbing horse shit into your scalp. One guy had even
used a concoction from the chemist costing around $100 for no return
what so ever.
Now Scummie was an avid conessuir of those old childhood comedies such
as Gilligan's Island, Hogan's Heroes and Get Smart. "Why don't
we all get together and form the League of Bald Headed Men". Everyone
remembered exactly what he was talking about.being about the same vintage.
It was an episode of Get Smart where one of the many arms of Kaos (remember
Sigfried) does battle with Max. The members of the League were involved
in smuggling diamonds under wigs they wore and would transfer them
to a bowling ball whilst having a game of ten pin. Max of course foiled
the plot. I am yet to confirm, but I think the writer of Get Smart
(Mel Brooks) based this name on an earlier movie called 'The League
of Extraordinary Gentleman' which has only just been remade.
Everyone had a good laugh at the pure novelty of starting a group up
for bald blokes under such a name. The name itself engendered the image
of a united front or brotherhood. Although we would be fighting against
evil, not for it.
The prospect became a running joke for years with nothing ever being
formally done about it. The blokes around the barby were just the members
of the League. At each BBQ over the years the intellectual property
of the League was enlarged somewhat by another round of blokes having
a joke. For example, the evolution of hair loss from disbelief to denial,
panic to depression, acceptance to joy (this has been shortened to
denial, acceptance, pride in the League's positioning statement) was
from one such event. When we all heard whoever said it, everyone empathised
immediately. We had all felt those emotions.
So here we are and something has been done to formalise the League. There
are lots of us bald blokes out there. In fact, if you look at the age
of our current population, we are most likely the majority rather
than the minority of the total male population. So there is no reason
to feel different.
The BBQ atmosphere is here to stay We have to poke fun and we have to
enjoy. This is the spirit of the League. Go you proud bald men.
Oh and by the way. Scummie, the originator of the idea is still in a
state of denial and alas I think always will be.
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Stephen Espenschied
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